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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25791976">i am you and you are me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamerenard/pseuds/madamerenard'>madamerenard</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XIV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, artistic interpretation of how flow works, hydaelyn needs to eat some wheaties, minfilia copes very badly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:13:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,564</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25791976</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamerenard/pseuds/madamerenard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>we will never be alone. <br/>(set after the banquet.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hydaelyn/Minfilia Warde</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i am you and you are me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It takes Minfilia a moment to realize she’s bodiless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That can’t be right. She had a body only a moment ago. Where did it go?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tries to think. Thinking is hard. Is it because she doesn’t have a physical brain? Her mind is still intact, she thinks. Mind, body, soul. She’s only lacking one, at the moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this moment, she’s not sure what happened. She tries to think back. They were in Ul’dah...for a banquet. A banquet she hardly wanted to attend, a banquet that spelled disaster for her and her friends. All because of one greedy Lalafell…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She feels herself getting heated, bitterness swarming her insides (whatever that entails, right now) not for the first time since Moenbryda’s death. It’s then that she feels something holding her. No...some</span>
  <em>
    <span>one</span>
  </em>
  <span>. She feels hands on her - hands that close in gently in an expression of comfort, urging her to calm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She also notices the grip is quite weak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can’t see the hands, or who the hands belong to, but she has an idea: Hydaelyn. The goddess had, of all moments, chosen then to speak to her. She had insisted Minfilia stay behind, and let the Warrior of Light go on alone. Minfilia remembers being loath to leave her friend, after so many had sacrificed themselves in their names...and then nothing. She had woken up here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Where exactly was “here”? She reaches out further, calling upon aethersense, and beyond the hands were souls. Many souls, all swirling past her. Like a river. The Lifestream, she realizes. She’s in the Lifestream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn’s presence surrounds her soul, keeping her steady and still and protected from the other souls. But Minfilia can feel how frail the hold truly is - only one bump and she would easily be free. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tries to sort her thoughts. Hydaelyn is doing this for her own good, but it’s unsustainable. She’s only gotten weaker, and Minfilia knows She cannot keep this up. Eventually the hold would break, and Minfilia would be swept away. And the Antecedent...doesn’t want that. She doesn’t want to be separated from her Mother’s embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a moment for Minfilia to figure out how to speak without a mouth, but she manages. “Mother…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn’s presence jumps, as if alarmed by her words. But it soon settles. However, She does not answer with any words of Her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Hydaelyn, again, does not answer, but Her hands (was Hydaelyn not a giant crystal?) grow warmer - and perhaps slightly more solid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“My friends...did they…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It takes a long time for Hydaelyn to answer. When She speaks, it is that same voice, rusty and rough with disuse and frailty. </span>
  <b>
    <em>Here.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>That makes Minfilia startle. By the Twelve, she thinks, (although there are clearly no more Twelve than there are mythological beastmen gods) have they all perished?! “Here? All of them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn shudders. </span>
  <b>
    <em>Two.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Somehow, she can tell Hydaelyn would love to explain more - but She simply doesn’t have the strength. It hurts her to see her goddess so weakened. This is what the Ascians wanted, didn’t they? To snuff out the Light like a candle. And it was working, because gods damn it, they could never manage to get one over on the forces of darkness. They had failed their Mother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She reaches out again with aethersense, looking at Hydaelyn now. She can tell the elder goddess once held a great and mighty power, but now She was but a shell of Her former self. Despite that, she can faintly see traces of a more human-like form (more human-like than a giant crystal, at least) - two wings framing two rings above Her head like a queen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minfilia adored Her. Worshiped Her. Loved Her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If it’s aether You require,” she says, “You are welcome to mine own.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn freezes, then starts to tremble. Her hold on Minfilia struggles to remain sure. </span>
  <b>
    <em>You…</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s all right,” Minfilia assures, sensing the grief and hesitation that She cannot even put into words. “I know I’m not going back. I want to be with You.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There is another pregnant pause, but eventually Hydaelyn’s trembles subside. Minfilia’s soul starts to feel warm, then hot. It swells to such a boiling hot point that she feels as if her entire essence is but molten aether, impossible to touch. She shines with the Light of her goddess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then she feels her body again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There are a few changes. Her braids are gone, long hair trailing down her back - she suspects Hydaelyn didn’t have the time or power to recreate them. She’s also naked. And the Light thrums in her veins like white hot blood. It almost seems as if it would burst forth - but Hydaelyn curls her hand into a fist and smothers it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn. She can feel the goddess inside of her, and it is divine. Hydaelyn is more or less using her body as a puppet and her soul as a fuel engine, but it is divine nonetheless. And Minfilia still retained her sense of self. She could possibly take control, but she submits to the goddess’ will for now.</span>
</p><p><span>Mother,</span> <span>she says lovingly. It’s not spoken aloud, but it doesn’t need to be.</span></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hydaelyn,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>the goddess replies, through Minfilia’s voice. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>All made one.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It occurs to Minfilia that she’s being corrected. It also occurs to Minfilia that her voice carries bitterness and regret, as if the ‘All made one’ title was mocking Herself. She doesn’t understand. Perhaps Hydaelyn will tell her later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Through Hydaelyn’s power she can sense much more. The two souls Hydaelyn spoke of are Thancred and Y’shtola, and she can see them in the Lifestream. To her surprise, Hydaelyn draws closer to Thancred’s soul.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They did not die a natural death, Hydaelyn explains. So there is still a way to save them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The addition of how Moenbryda is yet lost forever passes unspoken between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn reaches out and plucks Thancred’s soul from the rest. She encases it in Her hands, much like Minfilia’s. However, perhaps sensing Minfilia, Thancred’s soul attempts to embrace Her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>No!</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Hydaelyn tries to wrangle Thancred back, but the soul is persistent. A wave of regret rolls through them both, and though She doesn’t necessarily need to, She speaks. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>I am sorry.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a pinch, She closes off Thancred’s aether channels to the outside, preventing him from accidentally merging with them. Minfilia realizes with some sadness that he will be unable to wield magic again, but she knows Hydaelyn is simply trying to save him. Thancred preferred knives to spells anyway. It would be all right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally his soul calms, and with relief Hydaelyn takes it in Her hands again. She pushes it away from the river of souls, and into a plane parallel. Minfilia sees points of concentrations of aether - where the physical realm meets the aetherial one, she realizes. She also realizes that she can see other planes, other concentrations of aether - and some are dried and dead. She’ll ask Hydaelyn about it later, but she also knows she can’t hide anything from the goddess like this. Hydaelyn likely already knows her burning question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn says nothing though, and simply concentrates on pushing Thancred into a point. His soul, sapped of the ability to read aether, no longer recognizes Minfilia and goes without protest. Minfilia feels herself breathe a sigh of relief - though whether it is hers or Hydaelyn’s, she is not sure. The accompanying sadness is probably hers, though.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn once more sorts through the Lifestream and locates Y’shtola. Minfilia feels a sense of pride that she thinks may be coming from Hydaelyn. How adorable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn reaches out, taking Y’shtola’s soul the same way. However, instead of attempting to embrace Her, Y’shtola fights Her. Her soul shakes and rages inside its cage, fiery and feisty. Exasperated, Hydaelyn attempts to soothe her to no avail. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Thou wilt only bringeth harm to thyself!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>When She realizes there will be no peace until Y’shtola is free, Hydaelyn quickly brings her to another point. Y’shtola hardly goes quietly, the soul fighting until it is planted firmly in the point. Minfilia realizes something is wrong when Hydaelyn can push no longer, but her soul still burns bright in the aetherial plane.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“</span>
    <span>Stuck,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Hydaelyn reports mournfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minfilia looks at the point - it’s in Gridania. A point so aether-dense can only be the Guardian Tree. She would only need a small pull from the physical plane, and the Seedseers are more than capable of the necessary communing. That’s what she tells herself, at least, because although both Hydaelyn and Minfilia want her to complete the journey, Hydaelyn’s borrowed strength is running low. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Rest,</b>
  <span> Minfilia whispers. </span>
  <b>You’ve done enough.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment, she feels the two of them pulled away. It’s starting to set in that Minfilia is never going home. She will never see her friends again. And even though she is comforted by the fact that she had the power to save them, she wants to cry. She wants to mourn her death.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydaelyn closes their eyes, but Minfilia can still see. She can see the Warrior of Light trudging up the mountain to Camp Dragonhead. She can see Alphinaud with them, betrayed but alive. She can see Yda and Papalymo and Tataru, all breathing and moving and real, and she’s comforted by the fact that all is not lost.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They go to sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>should i keep this a one-shot or write a sequel? hm...</p></blockquote></div></div>
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